Stupid me

I should stop reading chick lit, fashion magazines and definitely stop blogging in this fluffy manner. My brains have turned to mush. Or perhaps, you, dear reader, have always known this day was coming - I write like crap. :(

That's the truth. I gave up being a journalist, cuz I write like crap. Yes, that's it. Not cuz I treat their profession with a cynical nod. It's cuz I can never rise to their ranks and emote and turn my words into pure literature, poetry even. Who am I kidding? I do not have the patience nor skill to churn out a good copy.

I love reading some people's blogs - cuz the way they word stuff, it just seems so lyrical. Libby's one of them. Van too. Angeleigh.

Pray. Give me the strength to be able to word in all technicality, let me churn out brilliant moments of ingenuity. Allow me the chance to come up with a good sound piece for my clients. No more fluffy, informal nonsense. Just solid tech writing.

Writing remains an important aspect of my career and smiling won't change a thing.

It didn't help that my feelings of uselessness just grows and grows...when Mustafa told me that E accepted his friend - my heart sank. I wanted to know the details. When? 3 months ago maybe...offered a contract...started recently. Whatever. Maybe it was never a matter of timing. Maybe everybody could see it but me, what a fraud I've become - it must have been clear from the start - that I can never succeed when it comes to writing.